By now you’ve heard it all when it comes to parenting do’s and don’ts for your little one. Try this, try that, don’t do this, don’t do that. As an Early Childhood Clinician that works in a preschool, I can assure you that I’ve heard and seen it all. ALL. So, I hope that I can help but, take it as you will. Simply remember, no matter what you do, FOLLOW THROUGH!
Positive parenting. What is it and how do you do it? No matter what other strategies you may be using at home this is the easiest, I believe, to incorporate right along with them. Positive parenting is simply that, being positive. Stating directions and requests positively to your children; avoiding the negative, and praising, yes, praising your children, for accomplishing tasks, following the rules, listening, etc. You tell your child what they need to do rather than what they should not do. Positive discipline also teaches self-esteem. Behaviors and actions that get recognized by you as a parent or caregiver get repeated. Repeatedly recognize the negative, it will get repeated. Focus on the positive, recognize the positive, it will get REPEATED. I know I’m repeating myself here but, stick with me.
Here are three simple ways to incorporate this idea into whatever your parenting style may be. (1) Use “I” statements. For example, “I feel frustrated when you don’t pick up your toys” instead of “You never pick up your toys like you’re supposed to.” (2) Send positive messages to your child. For example, “I appreciate it when you pick up your toys without being told.” Everything you say to your child sends them messages about how you feel about them. These messages translate into how they feel about themselves. (3) State re-directions and requests positively. For example, “I want you to walk” instead of “stop running!” You are letting them know what you want, what they need to do.
These simple little changes to your daily routine may not sound like much, however, if you are not doing them or, are unsure if you are already engaging in this type of behavior, try to take a mental note of how you speak to your child. If you find you are not, try to consciously incorporate this type of language into your day to day conversations with your child. Here are a few more examples of “Positive Parenting” statements:
“It makes me happy when you share your toys with your sister.”
“I feel sad when you don’t listen to what I need you to do.”
“Sit on your bottom on the chair.”
“Keep your hands to your own body.”
Like any new habit, it may take some time, especially if you are not accustomed to speaking this way. However, don’t give up! If you still find yourself going back to your old ways (note: I do this for a living and I am just as guilty with my own kids at times), its okay! Write your self reminders on sticky notes around the house if you need to. I am not promising this method will solve everything but, you may see that focusing on the positive will help to make you, and your little one(s), a bit more happy in general, no matter what your struggles may be. Good Luck out there!
